15.5.09

I'm LOSE

I just felt terrible, annoying, unhappy, frustrated, nauseous about my life with no purpose... It should be wonderful, it should be happy, it should be touching, it should be flawless... What happen?

Uni life wasn't as perfect as I thought, it wasn't as happy as I felt. Everyone seems to be individually rather than a group. My life is just so boring! It sucks! It is like hell! Am I too negative? I don't know... I want to cry out loud and loud!!! Feel helpless, feel purposeless.

I felt unhappy with YOU... I felt it long time ago. Have you notice that? Why are you doing this to me? I had been giving you forgiveness for hundred thousand times and you return me the same shit things! How am I going to believe you again? What for to say sorry with no intention to change? No action I've seen! Deep in my heart, I still can tell that I LOVE YOU. But I don't want this, I'm sick of the boring and unchangeable attitude. What should I do?

Mom, I wish you were here to talk to me everyday to comfort me, I wish you can give me a hug, I wish those sucks things didn't happen in my life, I wish I could handle all of these, I wish I wish I wish I am not who I am.